


Mugging or Juggling

by completelyhopeless



Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Gen, Humor, two circus birds universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 11:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3132221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Clint drank too much, but they can handle a few muggers. If they can stop laughing first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mugging or Juggling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/gifts).



> The theme on comment_fic today was Simpsons. There was this prompt: _[Marvel Cinematic Universe, any +/ any "You call that a knife?"](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/587717.html?thread=81670085#t81670085)_
> 
> I, of course, wasn't thinking of the little spoof that was linked in the prompt but the original, from Crocodile Dundee. I swear that I was going to do something with that moment, but I had been writing the boys getting drunk for the part of the main storyline I was doing, and so the boys wanted to do something while they were drunk. So this happened.
> 
> And would you believe I had an idea for something else, too?

* * *

“Natasha's gonna kill you.”

“Yep.”

“You are _so_ drunk right now. I thought you weren't supposed to get all drunk because you're a big master assassin working for a covert government agency,” Dick said, leaning against the bricks of the building. “Why did we do this again?”

“Anniversary,” Clint said, not needing to say more as Dick's stomach rolled with the images of his parents. “And don't think Babs won't kill you.”

“Yeah.”

Clint took a spot next to him. “At least we weren't at Stark's place this time.”

“You still owe me twenty bucks for that,” Dick said, laughing as he closed his eyes. “I told you he wouldn't recognize us if he saw us again.”

“We should crash his next party. That was fun.”

Dick snorted. “You'll be invited, dumbass.”

“Don't be a dick. Maybe I can get you in as entertainment.”

“You couldn't afford me.”

“Oh, right. I forgot. You're the trust fund kid, the heir to—”

“Trust fund sounds good to me,” a third voice said, and they both looked into the face of three guys trying to be tough in leather jackets and ripped jeans. “Hand over your money, boys. No need to get yourselves hurt while you're drunk.” 

“Are you kidding me?” Clint asked, pointing to the knife in the guy's hand. “That wouldn't even tickle.”

“Yeah, that looks about as intimidating as those plastic knives Swordsman used to make you practice with until you knew his routine.”

Clint snorted. “Not even. Those are like scimitars compared to that little toy he has.”

“He's not the only one with a knife,” one of the other men said. “We've all got one.”

“Oh, good,” Dick said. “We can use them to juggle. Remember when we did that and scared the hell out of our PE teacher? You'd think a man with that many muscles wouldn't have been such a wuss.”

“It was a preppy rich kid school. What did you expect?”

“Point taken.”

“Hello. Knives? Hand over the wallets already, you drunk idiots.”

Clint looked at him. “Do we have to keep our covers?”

Dick shook his head. “Natasha and Babs would never let us hear the end of it if we got our asses kicked by these clowns, cover or no cover.”

“Agreed,” Clint said. “But I get to juggle first.”

"Now who's being a dick?"


End file.
